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When Is A Writer Not A Writer?

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image photo : Female writer

When Is A Writer Not A Writer?

I’m sure there’s a fair few people replying ‘when they’re not writing, that’s when’. If we’re sticking with that definition then I must hold my hands up and confess: I haven’t been one since last December. Of course I feel madly guilty about this and shall commence thrashing myself with a cat o’ nine tails and dressing only in  sack cloth and ashes. Oh, hold on…I don’t. And I shan’t.

The problem, you see, is that due to the unsurprisingly garrulous nature of writers, writing is one of the most discussed and written about professions. You can always find a writer somewhere chatting about their writing day. their techniques, their inspirations – and sometimes, about the sacrifices they’ve made and believe others should make (otherwise these other writers are apparently ‘not real writers’, ‘don’t take it seriously  and ‘will never make it’).

For years writing magazines and how-to books have been been interviewing authors who can apparently rewrite the Encyclopedia  Britannica whilst running for parliament and doing the Three Peaks challenge of a weekend. You know the ones; often they’re middle-aged men who claim they have a full time job but only stop in the evenings to eat dinner before spending the entire evening writing. “And I still churn out two thrillers a year,” they chortle proudly, among casual mentions of  three children, two dogs, 5 guinea pigs, a wife and a 3 acre garden; “it’s just a case of discipline.” I’m sure they believe that lesser beings gasp in admiration and/or take an acid-coated flail to their bare backs to alleviate their shame.

Well I’m afraid this lesser being does not reach for her flail. Does this literary Colossus, I ask myself, even remember the names of his children? Or guinea pigs? Or the plants in his 3 acre garden? Does he wonder how shirts and suits miraculously appear in his wardrobe, how the house gets cleaned; who sorts out PE kits, makes doctor’s appointments, books the holiday cottage, buys birthday presents for his entire side of the family, attends parents’ evenings, and helps his children revise for their GCSEs? And in 5 years will he wonder why his wife has filed for divorce??!

For us ordinary mortals life happens, and unless we have a fairy godmother hovering handily in the wings to sort it out, it’s all down to us. So enough about the intellectual snobbery of writers who declare ‘EVERYBODY has time to write if they can be bothered’. Why hasn’t this writer written for months and not ‘had time’ (don’t gasp, please…it upsets the guinea pigs I don’t have).

First I suffered NaNoWriMo Burnout. I was managing my novel, despite trying to blog more, do a finals year degree course, and hold down a job. But after our boiler and two of our loos had a succession of malfunctions, meaning the plumber practically moved in,  plus long days spent at the hospital with my daughter (recurring heart/chest problem), I just couldn’t keep up. By Christmas my work hours had increased, my degree course had got harder and life kept on throwing curveballs. So I stopped sending myself on guilt trips (the scenery was awful, for a start) and accepted that, for a while, life just had to be lived; not lived and  written about. I couldn’t ignore and neglect my family, certainly not for the sake of something that, when all’s said and done, was not currently putting bread (or even Tesco Everyday Chicken Noodles), on the table.

So 8 months later, here I am back at the coalface. My son has survived his first year of sceondary school; my daughter has survived her GCSE year despite her health problems; my husband has survived a demanding first year in a new management role; and I’ve managed a first class pass in my Children’s Literature module which means, barring the next course going incredibly badly, this time next year I will be celebrating a First in BA Hons Literature and wearing a funny hat on my head.

I’m back from a wonderful holiday of walking, sightseeing and eavesdropping in the beautiful West Yorkshire Dales, with a fresh dose of inspiration. I have several ideas bubbling and have started a serial for Juke Pop Serials, purely because it sounds like an interesting idea and it’s a format I’ve not tried before.

And there’s not an acid-coated flail, or a cat o’ nine tails  anywhere. Funny, that. 🙂

 

Sharing The Blogging Love ;) or Things You Never Knew About Me

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Crikey, I think all this writing romance has turned me all lovey-dovey 😉
The truly delightful Catherine Miller, aka Katylittlelady, awarded me a Verstaile Blogger Award a while ago, but there’s been so much going on that I haven’t had time to step forward and accept it. I shall do so now!

Ahem! Unaccustomed as I am to public sp- what d’you mean, I don’t have to make a speech (and who was that at the back saying ‘and please don’t!’ What a nerve…)

Fair enough. The rules of the Versatile Blogger Award says you must:

1. Thank the award-giver and link back to them in your post. DONE THAT!
2. Share 7 things about yourself. BELOW.
3. Pass this award along to 15 recently discovered blogs you enjoy reading. I’LL TRY BUT MANY I WOULD PICK HAVE ALREADY BEEN GIVEN IT…
4. Contact your chosen bloggers to let them know about the award. PROMISE TO DO THAT.

So here are 7 little known facts about me – and then I will run through my lovely nominees….

  1. I’ve no idea who one of my great-grandfathers was. His name is missing from my late grandmother’s birth certificate, whilst the man her marriage certificate names as her father has the same surname as her mother’s maiden name…This is either a)fake b)a coincidence, because the surname is very common d)suggests incest as it is the name of a fairly close family member. a) is most likely.
  2. I’ve been to Albania. Back in 1995, when it wasn’t recommended. We booked a day trip there from Corfu through a company that was still running trips (our holiday company wouldn’t – too risky). Having hardly any money after lunch (because the day was meant to be all inclusive and wasn’t), we turned down the unexpected offer of an extra excursion and stayed in the town where we were due to catch the boat back. Very lucky for us – the people who did go on the trip were locked in the coach and the driver refused to drive them back until they had all ‘given him a tip.’ It was a fascinating experience (not least because we saw a whole herd of goats high up in a tree!)
  3. I once dispensed a prescription for Myra Hindley. She collected it in person accompanied by two prison officers, one of whom was handcuffed to her.
  4. I was nearly widowed 7 months after my wedding. My husband became ill shortly after we got married and 7 months later he was in Hammersmith Hospital in London having a rare type of adrenaline-producing tumour called a phaeochromocytoma removed. They’re more commonly diagnosed in post-mortems, so he was very lucky…
  5. When I was really into doing yoga, I could make my feet feel warm and cold at will, almost instantaneously. I can still do it now – sometimes – but it takes a little more effort.
  6. One of my grandfathers was a POW in the Second World War in Japan. I never thought to ask how he was captured; he was in the Navy and spent most of his time on subs. He escaped but broke back into the camp to rescue his friend, and was recaptured and tortured. He survived the war but was never in the best of health afterwards, dying when my Dad was only 16. Can you be immensely proud of someone you’ve never met? Apparently you can – because I’m very proud of the ‘granddad I never knew’.
  7. I don’t know any really famous people. Disappointing, huh. My friend Carole knew Gordon the Gopher. My husband knows the man who fixes Rory McGrath’s computer. I used to chat to the partner of Phil from Time Team on the Time Team forum. That’s as far as it goes (any other examples would be similarly sad). My husband, though, has rather more brushes with fame due to where he works, and properly famous bands come to play at his company’s Christmas parties. McFly, Olly Murs… sigh. He also gets to go abroad, whilst I work 8 minutes walk away!
So now to…DRUM ROLL!…my nominees!
http://jlpwritersquest.blogspot.com/The very useful and friendly blog of the talented writery lady Julie Phillips 🙂
http://herabsentmind.blogspot.com/  I met Bee at Sally Quilford’s Pocket Novel workshop and have since wandered on to her blog where she talks about caring for her mother, and also about yummy food (she’s written a cookery book so she knows what she’s talking about!).
http://mydadsacommunist.blogspot.com/ I was pointed to Daphne’s immensely readable blog a few years ago and try to read it whenever I’ve got a moment. Daphne  runs an acting agency and is involved in role-play sessions to educate health professionals. A fascinating read.
http://the-edge-of-nowhere.blogspot.com/ Very entertaining and often downright hilarious blog of a pig farmer-cum-heritage-centre-overseer on the remote island of Westray.
http://lynnehackles.blogspot.com/ Guaranteed to make you laugh, she is qualified to dispense useful tips on writing successfullyand on winning Deal or No Deal, both of which she has done. Honest.
http://magnumlady.com/ Val’s blog is full of musings on her life in Ireland and her gorgeous photos. There’s a reason she’s won prizes for them – take a look!

 

A Pocketful of Good Advice (and Peak District)!

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Last weekend I threw caution, preplanning and all the things I should have been doing to the wind, and uprooted us all to the Peak District for a long weekend.

It’s not the kind of a place you need an excuse to visit, chock-full of natural beauty as it is, but we all had several  – visiting The Marketplace Restaurant and Scarthin Books in Cromford again, visiting Peveril Castle – but I had a just-for-me excuse in the form of a workshop on writing Pocket Novels, run by the lovely Sally Quilford and handily located in Chesterfield.

It was great to finally meet Sally in the flesh and I spent a useful, funny and hugely enjoyable few hours in the company of Sally and my fellow workshoppers. I had worried that it might be brimming with multi-published authors who just wanted some pointers on the Pocket Novel format. Eeek! Intimidating!

As it turned out, I had no need to worry. They were a friendly bunch with a great sense of humour and ranged from writing novices to people like me who have had the odd success here and there but are still working hard at it and trying to have more. Everyone was full of enthusiasm and great ideas, whilst Sally’s advice, exercises and handouts were incredibly useful, really making me feel well-informed and a great deal more confident about writing for that format.

So much so, that I’ll be giving my first pocket novel a go for NaNoWriMo! But more on that later. For now, here’s a rundown of the topics Sally covered

  • Basic requirements: format, word length, characters, structure, narrative, dialogue etc
  • Writing a traditional romance – the conventions
  • The Morality of Pocket Novel World
  • Approachable Heroines
  • Rewarding Heroes
  • Conflict – what it is and how it works in romances
  • The First of a Million Kisses
  • Compelling secondary characters
  • How to come up with plots and sub-plots
  • Quick tips for writing a pocket novel (focusing on structure)
  • Writing for My Weekly/People’s Friend – what the editors want; similarities and differences
  • Tips for writing your synopsis
  •  After your pocket novel is published: Going into Large Print and Kindle
Hopefully I haven’t forgotten any. If you get the chance to go to one of Sally’s workshops, GO! You’ll have fun and learn a lot. 
Afterwards I caught up with the family, who had been exploring the town and museum, and were having a tour around the church with its famous twisted spire. A fascinating church – lots of inspiration there!

Every Picture Tells A Story (or a novel – or a poem…)

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copyright Craig Sellars

The wonderfully evocative picture above is by the very talented Craig Sellars. A name I probably wouldn’t have come across but for the lucky circumstances that result, every so often, in a copy of ImagineFX magazine being abandoned on the dining table. (Lucky Circumstances being a pseudonym for Arty Daughter).  And of course I’m compelled to have a look while eating my breakfast because – well, I’m me and it’s reading material. On my last visual meander I saw this picture, amongst others, in a feature about Craig.

For the uninititated ImagineFX  is a monthly magazine on fantasy and sci-fi digital art, although the term fantasy is loosely interpreted. But then I suppose everything that is designed from the imagination and not copied directly from a real scene is fantasy, really; and all writing that’s truly fiction could be termed fantasy in the same way.

Craig works on commissions for all kinds of projects, but left to his own devices he favours futuristic images or characters juxtaposed with retro 40’s scenes. The scene above just screams to be written about – or it does to me, anyway.But on his website I discovered other beautiful scenes he’s created, like this one below.

copyright Craig Sellars

I challenge anyone with even the smallest creative bone in their body not to look at these and feel a story brewing.

In the first image, who is the man on the phone talking to? Why is there a monkey in the phone box – does he belong to either of these characters or neither? Obviously the figure with a gun is portrayed here as a fantasy/alien character, but of course in your story he could be a man. Or a woman. Or a child…hmm.Or another monkey!

The second picture suggests a certain era because of the clothes, horse-drawn vehicles etc. Perhaps you’re not into creating period pieces.

No matter. The carriage could be a car. The woman could be wearing jeans and holding an umbrella, not a parasol. Is she standing there waiting for someone to arrive, or waving goodbye? Who are they? Is she happy, wistful, shocked?  Has she just arrived – is that her luggage they’re unpacking? And who is the mysterious figure, coat pulled tight around him, hat down, striding away off-stage?

Do go and take a look at Craig’s work. And next time you look at a picture – of any kind – don’t just look; listen to the story that it’s telling you. There’s bound to be one – or more, if you’re lucky.

Good luck! 🙂

On Holiday in a Bookshop – Part 3: We Go West!

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Before I wind my way west to Shropshire (where we stayed in week 2), just a quick mention for the Titles Bookshops. There’s a few dotted around the Peak District, but the one we visited was in North Parade in Matlock Bath. I picked up Christopher Somerville’s intriguing Never Eat Shredded Wheat in paperback for a bargain price (highly recommended if you want a light-hearted informative romp around the UK. I guarantee there will be stuff in there you didn’t know).Never Eat Shredded Wheat

ConstructoBoy, who likes to follow up his fiction interests with non-fiction, bought a book on handguns (because certain types are mentioned in Indiana Jones stories and he wanted to know about them. That’s what got him into tanks, too).

The Titles Bookshop there wasn’t huge but there was a good smattering of bargain and local interest books, together with helpful cheery staff. What more could you ask for?

For the second week of our holiday we abandoned the Peaks, collected my Mum then headed for Shropshire – swapping one set of hills for another (we obviously had a desire for hills – that’s what happens when you’ve moved to somewhere flat, y’know!) One of the bookshops we found there was Aardvark Books in the tiny village of Brampton Bryan, just off the A4113 Leintwardine-Lingen road.

 

Once again, a huuuge selection of books in a converted barn – and a place to enjoy some refreshments – and Arty Daughter was delighted because they had a graphic novels section. And yes, she had bought some the week before (in Scarthin Books – see On Holiday in a Bookshop Part One) but she reads them very, very quickly….sigh. And once again, helpful staff. Is it just running a bookshop that does that, d’you think, or is it the fact that they’re not preoccupied with trying to sell you lottery scratchcards and giant bars of chocolate at bargain prices…?
Next time we venture to Hay-on-Wye 😉

“On Holiday In A Bookshop!” Part One

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At least, that’s what ConstructoBoy said he felt like one day.

He did have a point. We did visit a LOT of bookshops on holiday. But he stopped complaining in week 2 when he found a book on his beloved zeppelins in Hay-On-Wye.
But hey, that’s week 2.  We should start at the beginning (unless we’re writing a novel, where sometimes the beginning is too boring, forcing us to leap instead into writing the Action).

Week 1 was a fantastic week in the Peak District; just Techie Husband, Arty Daughter, ConstructoBoy and me. We stayed in this cottage that you would love to stay in too (unless you have joint problems or you’re pregnant. Long, narrow, steep, uneven, twisty staircase. take note).

This is Brook Cottage in Cromford, just a few minutes from Matlock Bath – and you can see how lovely it is inside and learn more about it here on the owners’ website. (2017 edit – sadly, you can’t anymore. It no longer appears to be for rent). The cottages part of Staffordshire Row, a row of cottages built in the 1720s for the Staffordshire workers brought in to work in the old smelting mill.

Not only was the cottage lovely – handy for a myriad of tourist attractions and lovely walks, located in a scenic village with a fascinating history – but it also had the marvellous advantage of being a 90-second walk from HERE.

Scarthin Books is, if you’ll excuse the cliche, a rabbit’s warren full of books on just about anything you can think of. There are new books, old books, calendars, postcards, a million staircases and tiny rooms off of other tiny rooms… sometimes there are even bookcases on the (million) staircases. And in the midst of this bibliophile’s cloud nine is a little cafe – complete with more bookcases and a magazine rack, so that you can read something intelligent over lunch. It serves the most amazing gorgeous vegetarian food and leads out onto a garden room (more books!).

If you’ve never eaten Homity Pie, make sure you have your first one there. It’s making my mouth water right now just thinking about it. They have a novel (haha) approach to the whole business of running a bookshop – and running a cafe – and the shop is a borderline community centre and tourist attraction in its own right. It’s been on TV, and in a recent edition of Booktime magazine. To see what I mean, pop over to their website, and for goodness sake – if you’re anywhere near the Peak District, pop in! If you spend all day there and they finally throw you out, weeping, as darkness falls, fear not. Wander down the road to the centre of the village and you’ll find The Marketplace restaurant. Not Brewers’ Fayre prices, but not exorbitant either, particularly if you go for one of their special offer menus and, most importantly, we all agreed it was one of the best meals we had ever had. We plan to visit both places again Very, Very Soon.

Tomorrow I’ll rave about the other bookshops we visited. But that’s quite enough excitement for now. And daydreaming about Homity Pie has made me hungry…